Restaurant guests say the funniest things, they really do. When they aren’t ordering mash and noodles they are asking you personal questions that would make a Spanish inquisitor blush with embarrassment. It’s the audacity of …

By some curious combination of misadventure and recklessness, I ended up in Killarney yesterday afternoon.
There is no finer place in Ireland for people-watching, because most of them are foreign, and the rest of them are …

What a shitty time poor Farah Fawcett had yesterday! To be interrupted in your induction into Heaven’s heavenly regiments by bawls of…
“Holy Jesus, is that Michael fucking Jackson?”
“O.M.GEEEE I think it is! Out of the …

It is well known but poorly documented that I underwent a Catholic exorcism in the spring of 1971. I had been dabbling heavily in the occult for some months, ritually sacrificing hedgehogs, smoking joints made …

Is the well-known Italian entertainer-cum-emperor-cum-bucket Silvio Berlusconi, who is never in the news for the wrong reasons because he own the news. Escept, that is, in other countries, where they very unwisely still have …

It was 31st of August 1997 and I was drunk, oh crikey mummy was I drunk. I had been imbibing cheap red wine from early the previous evening and the blotto hour, 1am, was upon …

I travelled back in time last Friday.
No, not to last Friday. That would have been a bit pointless, going back in time all of three days … unless I’d done something utterly catastrophic on …

In 1968 I suffered a nervous breakdown during the London premier of hit motion picture, Planet of the Apes. 20th Century Fox hired me to work the red carpet in a gorilla suit, schmoozing the …