Comments on: Vamps Dire

By: laurence

laurence — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:18:30 +0000

The eternal dilemma, Werewolves or Vampyres [ or Zombies ].. for your delection i sujust the following two takes on old themes.. 1 vampire, 1 werewolf, 1 ghost and a shared house in bristol..that will be “Being human”..dear old BBC planted this six parter on there #4 channel as a re-run a couple of months ago.. Expecting utter tosh, i was suprised at the criss cross of comedy, pathos and horror and just how intellegent the writing was. Nice to feel that i didnt have to ask for my time back.. While its unlikely to win any awards [shame], this is fresh meat on old bones and with a solid viewer base a second series is in the offering, roll on says I… Also worth a look would be “Dead Set”, this madness from Guardian columnist and Screen wipe scribe Charlie Brooker tickles and puts the fear of god in equal amounts, i’ll not go into details for spoilers but to say if your zombies just are’nt cutting the mustard then this will help and The big bruvva house will never be the same again, nuff said..

By: Hangar Queen

Hangar Queen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:25:58 +0000

If I had book-mugged everyone on the Metro tonight I’d have come away with at least half a dozen Twilight books including one in a custom knitted cover. The owner was at least mortified enough to conceal the fucking thing.It remains to be seen if this smidgen of self-awareness will save her from my Gulag.

Fuck right away off with that Mormon vampire cuntuousity. The sad thing is that in a month or three we’ll be saying the same thing about zombies. Book store shelves are groaning with the undead.Including,I shit you not,something called “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” by J.Austen and Others.

Sorry. Raw nerve well and truly plucked here.

By: Conan Drumm

Conan Drumm — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:45:21 +0000

Gombies – the Irish zombie fillum, why has no-one made it yet?

By: Fat Sparrow

Fat Sparrow — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:07:46 +0000

“They hang out in darkened alleyways, making eyes at rats/drunken prostitutes, and have awkward overbites, and must smell like slaughterhouses. They’re a vegetarian’s nightmare. They can’t eat solids. They dribble. They’ve got bad breath. They’re terrible kissers. They’re anaemic and touchy. Retractable fangs notwithstanding, they must scab up their lips something rotten.”

Well, none of that has stopped Colin Farrell from getting his hole, more’s the pity.

Spike from “Buffy” can bite me anytime. Drain me dry, turn me into a vamp, whatever he likes. Angel, however, is a poofter, and is only mildly valid as Angelus.

As for the rest, I agree, except for the zombie thing… Have you forgotten “Shaun of the Dead”?! What were you thinking?! That was totally cheated out of an Oscar, and I have boycotted the Oscars ever since.

By: Jimmy Bastard

Jimmy Bastard — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:08:07 +0000

Is there nothing that you cannae add fire to with your spirited words? We must find time to share a glass and a blather on my next soiree across.

By: Flann O'Coonassa

Flann O'Coonassa — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:53:06 +0000

You and your encyclopaedic knowledge of monsterism win this round Sweary. But one day a stranger will call. Sure, he’ll seem ordinary enough, but could he be the chimera offspring of a male werewolf and a female Sasquatch?

If, when the clouds dissipate to reveal a full moon, he transforms before your eyes into a 12 foot snarling ‘Werefoot’, the answer to that question will be a resounding ‘yes’. And that’s when the cows come home to roost (to borrow a Naked Gunism).

Be thee fairly warned, says I…to you.

By: Sweary

Sweary — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:47:31 +0000

Fool! Vampires don’t prey on werewolves!

It’s virgins you’re thinking of.

By: Flann O'Coonassa

Flann O'Coonassa — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:31:48 +0000

Nor do I believe that vampires are real – Poor, naive Sweary, swallowing the ‘vampires don’t exist’ government dogma hook, line and sinker.

If vampires, as you suggest, are merely a fiction, then riddle me this my sceptic friend: how come we’re not overrun with werewolves? Everybody knows the vampires are what confine Irish werewolves predominantly to Leitrim, and rabbit-rich areas of The Burren.

By: Sweary

Sweary — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:12:00 +0000

Howya Vince!

I think you hit the nail in the head there. Or the stake through the heart, one or t’other.

By: Sweary

Sweary — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:11:26 +0000

Up is brilliant.

Zombieland is great, provided you’re a raging misogynist who doesn’t mind a 20-minute-long wanking of Bill Murray’s ego in the middle of a cliched pile of shite.

I’ll make allowances for you, Mr. Manuel, coz we’re fwends. But don’t upset me again or it’ll be the processed cheese slices for you!