Bigot Baiting Should be an Olympic Sport for London 2012
It was late on Friday night and a waiter chum and I were killing the very dull minutes from when we had delivered the dessert menus into the hands of the sweaty grubby people (people you may know as customers) and them making a decision. Honestly I wonder how these people make it through the day without having a breakdown. For the some the decision between panna cotta and cheesecake is like deciding which one of their kids they will send to college and which will be locked in a box for the amusement of the golden child. That is to say it goes on for ever. We struck up a conversation, waiter chum and I. I’m normally too tense by that time of the night for friendly banter but I was still on a high from watching The British National Party’s, Nick Griffin, terrible terrible performance on the BBC’s Question Time show. See the short highlights here (as seen by the ever awesome Cassette Boy)
“Did you see it?”
“Yeah”
“Wasn’t it just the best? Squirmy squirm squirm eh?!”
“Yeah….”, replied waiter chum with no real conviction. “….it was a bit unfair don’t you think?”
“Fair? Fair? What’s fair gotta do with it?”
“I mean the man got mugged big time” continued waiter chum with a casual tone in her voice that seemed to suggest she didn’t really care and didn’t want to continue the conversation any further.
Clearly I did care and really did want to continue the conversation. This was the first chance I had got to discuss the whole lovely bigot baiting affair with a real person. Sure I mentioned it on Twitter and Lol’d along with the rest of the Twitterati but this was my first encounter with a real person. I decided not to bring it up with the taxi driver on the way to work as most of them hold dodgy views at the best of time and I wasn’t in the mood for walking in the rain.
“Mugged? Mugged? Fucking lucky he didn’t actually get mugged all across his face with a baseball bat if you ask me.”
“Aye he is a bastard all right but don’t you think some people will have pity on him after?”
“Pity? Pity my hole!”
“Lovely image”
“Sorry. But he doesn’t deserve pity he deserves castigating…
“Castrating?”
“What? No, maybe castration…no castigating, exposed…
“Christ there’s a thought, bet he has a wittle willy…that would explain a lot”
Waiter chum’s interruptions were annoying me and preventing me from getting a good head of rage up. “What? No….listen I’m just saying that he didn’t get it hard enough. He should have been shouted at for longer by more people quoting more facts and generally exposing him for the horrible shitty little man he is. And ending up with him on the receiving end of a bloody good arse whipping!”
“Exposing? Arse whipping? I think somebody has a little crush on somebody.”
“Oh just fuck off.” Waiter chum was chortling away. She had successfully wound me up.
“But isn’t that fascism itself?”
“What fancying Nick Griffin?” I think it’s sick in the head but it’s not fascism.”
“Eh duh, I didn’t mean that. I meant whipping or attacking him with a baseball bat, isn’t that fascist?”
“Yeah but eh er…”, clearly I was on the ropes.
“Remember, if I can’t shoot rabbits then I can’t shoot fascists either!”
I went quiet for a moment. Which was a relief to all within earshot I’m sure.
“Hold on, did you just quote The Manic Street Preachers at me?”
“He knows you know”
“James Dean Bradfield? He knows nothing! Plus you’ve got the lyrics wrong.”
“Whatever, I’m just saying you cant beat up fascists as that makes you fascist”
“And you’re doing this by misquoting song lyrics.”
“A huh.”
“I’m gonna get 12’s sweet order…” and off I wandered. Seriously, that’s the last time I discuss politics at work.
Okay it’s true the format of the show was changed and it was all about Griffin the Bastard. But it worked for me. I think it was effective as it showed him up for the shitty little man he is with no answers and no future. I liked the format so much that I think it should be used more often, maybe around the holidays as one off specials. Get on a loathsome figure on the panel with four others who are diametrically apposed to their view with an audience of the same mind and let slip the dogs of war.
Wouldn’t you love to see Question Time with…
Referee Andre Marriner as the villan and the panel made up of Sir Alex Ferguson, Eric Cantona, Jim White, Shaun Ryder and a laptop representing the collective voices of the Manchester United football forums (always a place of calm reflection and reasoned argument.) Hell I’d pay to watch that!
A Catholic Archbishop as the villan and a panel made up of abuse victims, supports groups and hungry lawyers. I’d love to here the difference betweens god’s will and a priests willy.
Maybe it’s a bit rough to have just one person have to take all the abuse from the audience and the panel so maybe we put two politicians on. Lets see who, hmmmm, how’’s about Moat repair man and Duck Island man? Tremendous idea and the rest of the panel can be lone parents, people who have served time for doing the double and people who have lost their homes due to the credit crunch. Fucking aces dude!
Who or what would you like to see on Question Time? I’ll send the best to the BBC…seriously.
On the strength of his appearance it now all makes sense to join the BNP.
Waiter Chum’s right, though, you know. He didn’t get that far without money and support, and he will continue to get money and support. And the people who are giving him money and support won’t say that they’re doing so, they won’t come out in the open about it, they’ll just quietly contribute.
Think about Rush Limbaugh here in the States, and how many times he’s been proven wrong (the latest I-didn’t-know-it-was-satire/fake news story/no-apology-because-that’s-how-Obama-”really thinks” fluff up not excepting), and yet people still follow him like he’s the Second Coming. And for every rabid, vocal supporter, you’ve got 5 quiet, unassuming, everyday people in the shadows who think just like him.
It’s like a religion; if you think that some liberals tearing your man a new one is going to make people change their minds about him, you’re wrong. Their minds are already made up. You’d have an easier time converting them all to Scientology.
I believe the saying “The one-eyed man is king in the realm of the blind” may possibly fit, here, pun notwithstanding. You have a whole lot of people who just want someone to lead them by the hand, and tell them what to do and where to go, and they’re being led by a man with no depth perception, a man who can’t see the world for what it truly is, because he can’t see it through someone else’s eyes, or even imagine a world with any dimension to it. It’s just too bad he’s not color-blind, too.
Fuck, that was far deeper than I meant to be. Have I slagged you off lately, you big girl’s blouse?
Black, white, yellow or feckin blue.. okay, maybe not blue.
The BNP will be as forgotten as Mr Blobby’s catchphrase come this time next year. Nick Griffin is currently riding as high as a fat bloke can on a wave of sympathy / hate, and is basking in his 15 minutes of fame.
Me personally, I’d go with the bat, and then castration just to make sure. Good credible post Manuel,and I see where you are coming from pal, but there are more important issues at hand.
Panna cotta or cheesecake for example. I,ll go with the cheesecake, but not with that fake creamy stuff sucked from a cow somewhere in the green fields of Kerry. I want that real synthetic stuff that comes out of an aerosol tin with a rush of air that would inflate a truck tyre, and makes a feckin mess on the plate.
Away now, and send your blonde friend back with the food, she has a much better arse than yersel..
How about a wife swop spin off with Nick Griffin spending a week with an Asian, Black etc family for the week. I’d watch it, enough rope and all that..
or how about who do you think you are? with an ancestry DNA test
More like Who Do You Hope You’re Not, AnFearBui.
I’d like to see Russell Brand on Question Time. He’s verbose, yet cuddly.
The moment it is revealed that Griffin is a direct descendent of Shaka Zulu would be television gold.
Slap Nick Griffin here
Hey Manuel, same waiter chum who wasn’t bothered by the symbolics ? She’s a gem. It’s bothersome though, when other’s indignation doesn’t match our own. My shrink friend would look at me and ask “what’s that about?” to which there is only one reply.
The black American writer on his left, Lorrie something, had him rightly perplexed just by her body language and when she said something he died and died. And the guy in the audience who murdered him even deader, with his all white Antarctic expulsion comment. I watched along with the 7.5 million others. On balance, it was a good thing to have him exposed.
I’m all for Nasty Nick to keep getting the “oxygen of publicity”.
The more chances people get to see what a dickwit he actually is, then the less chance there is of people voting for him or the party that put him in charge.
I mean for God’s sake, he still thinks the Holocaust didn’t happen, but has admitted that he won’t admit it in public because he thinks he’s going to be deported to Germany where Holocaust denial is a specific crime.
Packing the audience with special interest groups, shouting him down every time he speaks and even turning your back on him when placed next to him on the set is just playing to the BNP who think the ethnic minorities are in the majority and are hell bent on putting the indigenous white man down.
Give the little bastard the rope, he’ll hang himself sure enough.
I agree with all these comments…..except old knudsen….as always…cunty…heh