Comments on: Dear Flann: Readers’ mailbag

By: Flann O'Coonassa

Flann O'Coonassa — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:14:39 +0000

I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss blood ties with The Hoff Paul. I believe there’s a new episode of Time Team airing soon that traces The Hoff back to, not only Jesus, but the first single-celled organism to coagulate in the primordial soup of life’s beginnings. Quite literally, The Hoffs are the father of us all. Something to think about…

By: Paul Kiernan

Paul Kiernan — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:25:12 +0000

Well, I wouldn’t say that the Hoff and I are relatives, per se; though, similarly to him, there are many dying children out there whose last wish it is to meet me.

By: Flann O'Coonassa

Flann O'Coonassa — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:09:59 +0000

Jimmy, I think I can clear up the confusion. All letters sent to me from Roscommon are filtered through a machine called the De-roscommonator. It’s an enormous, leaded-petrol based machine founded upon a two-stroke engine.

Expensive to run, but superb at cleansing correspondence from Roscommon of ‘C’ words, ‘F’ words, death threats to the pope etc. Stick a letter from Roscommon back’n'forth two or three times through the De-roscommonator and you’d swear it came from Leitrim.

By: Flann O'Coonassa

Flann O'Coonassa — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:01:03 +0000

Maxi, if you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting (that you were sexually assaulted by a predator), know that I WAS NOT the predator from Predator 2.

Obviously I was given the option of reprising the role, but I felt I was being typecast and that it wouldn’t stretch me as an actor. So I declined the offer and went off to play Bigfoot in a straight-to-video sequel of Bigfoot and the Hendersons instead.

By: Jimmy Bastard

Jimmy Bastard — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:48:11 +0000

Flann, I’m beginning to suspect that these readers letters may well be a smidgen on the oul ‘made-up’ side. I happen to have the blood of Roscommon flowing through my veins (as well as half a bottle of Ruby port) and I know for a fact that none of the fuckers fae there can write two words without using the ‘C’ word at least twice, let alone a whole sentence.

Obviously the appearance of Our Lady doesn’t fall into the bollix category… and it was the baby fighting itself where I first made my own money.

By: Maxi Cane

Maxi Cane — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:34:15 +0000

I think we may have met in the past. Was that you as the predator in Predator 2? I only ask because I was Danny Glover’s stunt double. However, being white, too short and only 11 I wasn’t called on much for stunts, so I ended up in the catering van with a predator.
He always promised me not to tell about our time in there, but I’ve kind of buried it now anyway.
That picture just kind of stirred something, so I thought I’d ask.