Ah it’s nearly upon us, Christmas 2009 - “This time I’m getting a room”. Friday just past was Black Friday or as it also known, Black Eyed Friday to us waiters and bar staff. It’s …

Okay this is the last instalment and in many respects it’s just as important, maybe more important, than all the other wonderful life saving advice I have given you so far this month already.
There are …

Following on from last week’s warnings of the apocalyptic doom that is the office christmas party I offer you today further advice in how to survive the office christmas party. Let’s start with the CHRISTMAS …

It’s four weeks to Christmas. Twenty three and a half days from now it will all be over for another year. I say 23 and a half because it’s all over by tea-time really, isn’t …

Wasn’t it the English patient physicist and all round massive brain, Sir Isaac Newtown that said, “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction”? I think it was. Cheers Isaac for stating …

One of the most fear inducing phone calls a waiter can get goes like this, “Hello what time is the latest we can get a table for a dinner?” Late supper eh? BOLLOCKS, I have …

Saturday morning and all was well. Little Miss Manuel had offed herself to work for some some generously paid overtime and I was living the good life of the modern chap and doing the shopping. …

It’s a commonly held view that waiters, like women, prefer a bastard. It’s a view most commonly held by assholes who justify their asshole behaviour by saying things like, “Ah they expect it, enjoy it …