In 1968 I suffered a nervous breakdown during the London premier of hit motion picture, Planet of the Apes. 20th Century Fox hired me to work the red carpet in a gorilla suit, schmoozing the …

Look!!! Is Me!! Yes!! Just next to Mehmet Ali Agca!
Here is my story, a bit. I am humble not very well known diminutive Spanish man born in Madrid, 1953. My father was notorious brave airman …

I sent some of my fucktion to great friend wise accomplice artistic soul Kevin today, and was most pleased when he mentioned that I write well from a man’s point of view.
“I was born a …

He twinkled at me from across the room. He was young. He looked trustworthy. He was ginger, for God’s sake. I found myself pouring my heart out to him.
“Sometimes,” I told him, sprawled out on …

It’s been said more than once that where the “hard men” of working class Ireland (and Britain too, because we’re nothing if not culturally indebted to its whimsies) were once wiry like a coat hanger …

“Waiter!”
I was being summonsed by a very large very sweaty very unattractive man. Being wrapped, as he was, in a couple of thousands pounds worth of Armani cut cloth really didn’t distract from the hideousness …

So I had this customer the other day…….ah fuck it you’ve heard it all before. I’m too tired to write it up today. Suffice to say he was a dick, he did dickish things, and spoke with a dickish tone. I didn’t like him. The usual blah blah blah. But it’s not him that has me tired. I’m afraid it takes more than a dickish man doing dickish things whilst speaking with a dickish tone to keep me awake at night. No I have a new house guest. And this new house guest has kept me awake two nights on the trot now.