With half the country out of work and annoying the fuck out of me by getting to lie in on Monday mornings, I’m hardly going to say that this bloody recession isn’t as bad as …

B*Witched. Stirrup leggings. Pat Kenny. Oh, the list of bugbears from my past that haven’t actually fucking stayed there would be much too long to post here,

In his first interview since dying, the King of Pop Michael Jackson sits down for a chin-wag with Coddle Pot, via the psychic ducting of Uri Geller’s frontal lobe. I shit you not. Enjoy!

Events have been take a turn for the würst since we were last chattering. For one thing we have had nothing during the past week escept for the wind, snow and heil here in …

So to the delight of waiters and bar staff all over Belfast the Tall Ships have been and gone. I’ve never been one for seafaring types or boats in general, except of course Captain Birdseye, …

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been too nice recently.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve been relatively cosy in my seat of late (read: arse got fat), and have lost the spark of righteous indignation that …

I found myself thinking today about what song I would sing if I were to appear on X-Factor (possibly out of a puff of black smoke, like the wizened omen I know I could be). …

In the fourth instalment (see previous instalments here) of my ‘Final Page’ series, I now present the last page of my period drama ‘Sense and Prejudicability’. First published in 1992, my agent Diane begged me …